Computer Blues

I'm on Boyfriend's computer at the moment. I missed the cyber world too much. Although I have to say that I have been very productive as far as homework goes without the constant temptation to check facebook and email. I'm pathetic really...oh well. Lots of reading and a bit of art too.

Last week at the book store I picked up the Artful Blogger Magazine. I just started paging through it last night and it's so inspirational. All these artists putting their work, their lives and their hearts out there for strangers to read. I'm hoping that sometime soon I make the time to create more and better work to put up here. I honestly feel like I'm on a threshold, as though if I push a little farther, my work will improve by leaps and bounds. Someone in this magazine made an excellent point about not being afraid to try something new because what do you really have to lose? Some paint? some paper? Every effort is an experience and every experience is a lesson...Always something to learn.

On that note, I was very inspired last night, around midnight, to create something. so I looked at my planner which had two old pages that I couldn't rip out because they had important pages on the opposite sides. but the spread was ugly and I had crossed things out and made it even worse...so I took some watercolor, did a wash, found some magazine clippings, pasted them in, pulled out my gesso, painted some blobs here and there to create a surface to work on. Still developing it but I've discovered a good way to reuse the old pages of my planner. turn the thing into a visual journal of sorts. sure the pages become wrinkled and bulky, but suddenly my planner has character, meaning, parts of me and my art embedded into it. It's no longer a boring tool, only used for keeping track of my future, now it's a portfolio I can carry around and show people. Pretty cool I think. So every week there will be two new pages to draw on. Plus, having all that writing already on the page makes it less frightening to me.

Oddly enough, I'm an artist that's afraid of a pure white surface. I have all these canvases in the basement that I'm just too terrified to paint on. but they sure were fun to build! he...heh...*sigh* sketchbooks remain somewhat empty because I'm too afraid to play on the white space. I hate sketching in public because I feel like everyone is watching me and I'll disappoint them... Confidence issues, grrr. But I really do feel like forcing myself to play a little everyday, to make something, no matter what it is, and post it up here (whether I like it or not...) is helping me to free myself from that fear.

Wow, that was kind of a deep post...yay! I promise there will be pictures soon. I *could* probably post them using Bryce computer...but it's a PC *hiss* and I don't know what kind of photo programs he has...plus his screen display is really really weird making the font really really tiny...so if I misspelled anything, that would be why...I can't really see what I'm typing unless my face is right up against the screen...I feel like I did pretty well overall...*grins*

hopefully I can pick up my baby tomorrow. I miss my computer. toodles all!